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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061957">Emotions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bewarethewise/pseuds/Bewarethewise'>Bewarethewise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>High Rollers DnD (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventure &amp; Romance, Dark Past, Denial, Emotional, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Falling In Love, Feelings, Love, Regret, Science Fiction, Science Fiction &amp; Fantasy, Series, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:20:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bewarethewise/pseuds/Bewarethewise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thalia has been running for a long time. From her enemies. Her past. Her condition. But, now, she must face what she fears the most - her own emotions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nova V'Ger &amp; Thalia Whisperwind, Nova V'Ger/Thalia Whisperwind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Regret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Thalia watched the group leave, she felt an all too familiar sinking feeling in her chest. It was a mixture of guilt, grief, and something else she couldn't quite identify. She blinked as she felt a prickly wetness in her eyes and a tightness in her throat. <em>I'm not crying again, fuck that,</em> she thought as she swallowed and held the tears back stubbornly.</p><p>There was no time for silly feelings. She finally had a break from people poking and prodding all over the Twinstar, her pride and joy, and she was going to enjoy it. <em>If only I had a fucking drink,</em> she thought irritatedly. There was only so long she could last with her thoughts without alcohol. She walked back into the cockpit, the black crystalline walls offering her a form of solace. This place had become her home for so many years; a sense of peace washed over her whenever she was within its walls. She sat in the captain's seat and leaned back as far as it would allow. With her eyes closed, she sat there, enjoying the silence for as long as she could.</p><p>However, soon Thalia's thoughts wandered back to earlier today, and she immediately felt sick to her stomach.</p><p><em>Why did I do that?</em> She thought to herself angrily. She always got carried away when drinking. Especially when she felt... well, she didn't really know how she felt.</p><p>Nova was definitely someone she respected and... cared for, but this felt different from what she was used to. Ever since the Medusa curse, most of her interactions with people were negative; either they were afraid of her turning them into stone or they treated her like some strange arcane experiment that must be studied. No one cared; not about her, her well-being, or what she wanted. No one... until Nova.</p><p>Thalia wiped her eyes aggressively, pushing back the tears that found their way to the surface. She had fucked up big time and it was unlikely that Nova would ever want to talk to her again. Ever since it happened, Nova wouldn't even look at her, let alone talk to her. Nova was like a flower; she needed to be watered and nurtured. Not pushed.</p><p><em>I have to do something</em>, Thalia thought as she stared at the wall of the warehouse that held the Twinstar. Perhaps a gift would be appropriate. But, what would she get? She knew that Nova was passionate about learning and had a deep interest in astral space. <em>Also, is very pretty,</em> she thought fleetingly. She shook her head and forced the thought out of her mind.</p><p><em>Maybe a book?</em> She pondered to herself, her hands absentmindedly touching the crystal orbs that flew the ship. She would like that but what topic -</p><p>“Ca-captain Thalia?” Kyrie said softy, sounding uncertain. Thalia rubbed a hand over her face and turned around in her chair to face her.</p><p>“Yes, Kyrie dear?” Thalia said, careful to make her voice soft to make sure she didn't frighten the young harpy. Kyrie stood behind the doorway, looking at the ground, claws clanking on against the metal floor.</p><p>“Um, I'm sorry a-about earlier,” She said, nervously wringing her hands together. “I was worried and I didn't know how to ask you. I didn't mean to-”</p><p>Thalia held up a hand. “It's quite alright. Thank you for your concern.” She attempted to smile but it probably ended up as more of a grimace.</p><p>“I'm...” Thalia trailed off and paused. She was going to say she was alright but that would be a lie. If only she wasn't such a shit communicator. “Well, I'll be alright soon. No worries.”</p><p>“Okay!" Kyrie exclaimed, briefly meeting Thalia's gaze but quickly adverting her eyes back to the floor of the ship.</p><p>“Did you want me to see about getting some more alcohol?” Kyrie asked, her eyes raising from the floor to briefly meet Thalia's but quickly moving up towards the ceiling.</p><p>“No,” Thalia said. “I'll figure that part out.” She knew that Kyrie would struggle trying to speak to new people, and she didn't want her going through that on her behalf. Thalia turned back in her seat and stared out the front window again. Soon, shadows appeared on the back walls, and she heard the clamoring and shuffling of little feet. She groaned.</p><p>“Oh, here we fucking go,” Thalia muttered.</p><p>Once again, the little elves were back to disturb her peace with their curiosity. <em>By the gods, I thought I had more time.</em> She thought angrily. <em>Now, they'll be back with their grubby little fingers fiddling with things they don't understand, with their bizarre Mage mistress who, wait.</em> Thalia stopped mid thought, excitement filling her chest. <em>Maybe the mage can help with the curse,</em> she thought hastily, <em>she must be powerful. She has to be! And maybe she can help with other things...</em> She caught herself before she was wandered too far and forced her emotions back.</p><p>Thalia knew better than to get her hopes up after hundreds of years of disappointment and sadness. But it didn't hurt to try, and she had nothing to lose.</p><p>“Kyrie," She said, standing up slowly. “There is something you can do for me.”</p><p>Kyrie's eyes widened as though she wasn't expecting Thalia to address her again. “Um, yes, sure."</p><p>“Could you grab Miss Perrell, the mage, for me, please?" She said. "I'd like to have a word."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Pride & Shame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thalia spends an evening with a mage.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="s7">"You wanted to see me, Captain?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Azaria Perrell appeared in the doorway, her footsteps so light, Thalia didn't hear her approach.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Ah, yes," Thalia said, her armor of bravado in full force."Azaria Perrell, the great magic researcher. Glad you could make it - Captain Thalia Whisperwind." She half-bowed towards the mage, who opened her arms with a flourish and began to glide over to her.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Oh, it is my pleasure!" Azaria said. "I couldn't wait to get an audience with the amazing Captain Thalia from astral space. Your friends told me a bit about you. Here, I brought you a gift."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">She pulled out a rectangular black box from the inside pocket of her cloak and presented it to Thalia like it was precious jewel.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I'm sure they did; All good I hope," Thalia said, taking the box with a cheeky smile and a wink. "You flatter me!"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Upon closer inspection, the box was ornate and clearly well crafted. The smooth black satin surface was intricately designed with gold inlays of dragons and flames wrapping around the sides. On the front panel it read, 'Dragon's Breath' in delicate script.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"It is one of the finest Aeriosian whiskeys available," Azariasaid, a slightly smug look on her face.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia nodded, genuinely impressed.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Appears very fine indeed," Thalia said as she opened the box and grabbed two glasses in one smooth motion. "Shall we?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia poured out a generous glass of the dark amber liquid in both cups and handed one to Azaria. She pointed at the co-pilot's seat, as an invitation to sit down.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Perrell paused briefly, as if contemplating something, but soon, made her way over. She lightly grasped the glass from Thalia's hand and sat down</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Yes, let's make a toast," Perrell said, raising her glass towards her. "To new friends and good conversation."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Cheers," Thalia said, tapping her glass with hers, downing the whiskey in one gulp, and quickly moving to pour another. The drink was velvety smooth with a silky, oak finish. Not bad, she thought, as warmth filled her chest. She relaxed as the spirit began to move through her body.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That is much better," Thalia said, swiftly drinking her second glass. "You have no idea how much this was needed."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"You've been through a great deal, I'm sure," Perrell said, gently sipping her first glass of the Aeriosian whiskey.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That, is an understatement," Thalia retorted, now on her third glass, but taking her time on this one.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Your ship," Perrell said, anticipation dripping from her voice. "Is the most fascinating thing I have encountered in all my years."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Of course," Thalia said, leaning back in her chair, kicking her feet up onto the console. "She is one of the best ships in the multiverse."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Clearly," Perrell said, excitedly. "I mean, I'm not even sure how it works, even after hours of study. Would care to enlighten me?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia's smuggler's sense began to tingle. There was something going on with this woman that she couldn't quite put her finger on but she decided to humor her.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"It flies with the power of 2 infernal engines," Thalia said carefully, taking a deep sip of her drink. "These are powerful elemental entities that were captured and built into the ship. Their essence literally powers and controls the ship. They are still semi-conscious and very temperamental."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Fascinating!" Perrell said, scribbling furiously on a piece of parchment, that she didn't see her take out. "How did you come to own this ship?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia rubbed her chin pensively. "Let's just say it involved an Orc, a Demon prince, gambling, and a lot of booze. And I came out on top." She flashed a grin.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I see," Perrell said, a peculiar expression crossing face, which quickly turned into a smile.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"It looks complex to operate," She continued, taking a deeper swig from her cup. "Where did you learn to fly something like this?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia felt herself grinning despite herself. "Well, back home, every boy of a royal house would learn to pilot a ship, as a part of military readiness," Thalia explained, the alcohol bolstering her words as she kept on. "But I was a princess and princesses weren't allloooowweddd to go to space. They must learn to sew, hold court, and be pretty."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"As far as being pretty, I, of course, nailed that part," She said slyly, gesturing down at herself. "The other parts, well, let's just say I wasn't very fond of. I would always sneak out to the ports and on the royal ship. I learned all the buttons and controls; After a while I knew how everything worked. Iwould even go to the library and study about different ships, flying techniques, and magitech." Thalia chuckled to herself, remembering her defiant teenage years.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Eventually," She continued, leaning in towards Azaria. "I snuck out one night, fully intent on taking my first flight. I walked up to the doors, put in the password, and was met by the presence of my father, looming over me. I was terrified!"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"He said, 'I know you've been sneaking out to ships nearly every night... If you wanted to learn, you could just asked.' And he put me in lessons with the best pilot in the kingdom. Thus, leading to the amazing pilot you see today."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia took a big swig of her drink and watched as Perrelllooked impressed.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Amazing," Perrell said, leaning on the chair arm closest to Thalia, hand on her chin. She looked into her eyes intently.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"A princess!" Perrell said. "Forgive me, but I wouldn't have guessed."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That is understandable, considering the many years spent smuggling and drinking."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Certainly," She replied, a genuine laugh spilling out from her like a waterfall.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I'd love to hear more about your home," she said, lightly touching Thalia's arm with delicate fingers. Thalia glanced at her hand with a raised eyebrow, her snakes all perking up as well. "What's the name of it?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Lunaria," Thalia said, leaning forward to pour herself another glass, deftly removing herself from the mage's grasp.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Lunaria," Perrell repeated after her, furrowing her brow. Thalia tipped the bottle towards her, silently asking if she wanted another drink. She nodded.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That sounds familiar," She said as Thalia poured her a healthy portion of whiskey. She sipped it more vigorously this time around. "I believe I read something about it... it's the home of the moon elves, yes."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia was surprised. "Why, yes," She said, her body melting into the chair as the alcohol took over her senses."How do know such things on this backwater planet?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Very old books," Perrell said, giggling softly, taking a sip. Thalia chuckled.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">The evening progressed into the night, as Thalia and AzariaPerrell drank and shared stories. She told her about her the records she held, including the record for the fastest time to traverse the Astral Staircase, which hadn't been broken in over 100 years since she set it. They actually had a very pleasant time together, which surprised her. Azaria Perrellwas a fascinating woman herself with a rich history. She told Thalia of a time she met a halfling warlock who tried to sell their sentient sword patron when they were promptly banished to the 7 hells on the spot for being defiant.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Oh dear," Perrell said, head thrown back, trying to catch her breath from laughing. She glanced at the front screen, and she did a double take, eyes widening. "Wait, is it nightfall?"</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Yes it is," Thalia said, standing up to stretch her legs, feeling quite drunk but still had her wits about her. She still hadn't asked about the mage removing the curse, and she was running out of time.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">However, before Thalia could put the words together, Perrell suddenly held up a finger, as though remembering something very important.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I never asked," She said, in a hushed tone. "How did you end up here with that lot?" Azaria was clearly feeling the affects of the alcohol now.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia was caught off guard by the question. She looked back on that night at the Last Feather fondly, despite how incredibly drunk she was - and the vomiting. <span class="s6">Pretty little cloud</span>, she thought wistfully, remembering the awkward yet somehow charming woman she met with the kind eyes. She shook her head to snap herself back to the present conversation and sat back down.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Well, I was incredibly drunk at this shithole of a bar, when Nova," She said, a flutter tickling her stomach. Must be hungry, she thought. "You know, the air genasi, approached me. After getting... acquainted, she mentioned they were lost in astral space and needed to get back home to their planet.Aerios."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I had heard the name before but I had to contact my navigator Bym," She said, a pang of sadness hitting her chest. She shook it off. "To confirm it."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I see," Perrell said, peering deeply into Thalia's eyes. "A chance to go to the lost planet. An opportunity of a lifetime."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Exactly," Thalia said. "I jumped on the chance. Also, I had some plans to attempt to get some wishes from a demon prince that would require more assistance."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"You and these demon princes." Perrell said, pushing her lightly, running her hand down her arm again.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"What can I say? I have a death wish," Thalia said darkly, this time letting her hand linger on her skin. It was fun to flirt, especially with someone like Azaria. <span class="s6">I wonder what Nova would</span>, she began the thought but quickly cut it off. Her mind somehow always wondered to thoughts of her.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Azaria laughed heartily, bringing a hand to her chest."Trying to go to a demon prince for wishes: you must have been desperate."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I was," She said, softly, shrugging.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Was it to try to remove the curse?" Perrell said, locking eyes with Thalia once more. Thalia nodded.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"You figured that one out pretty fast," She said, adverting her eyes from Perrell's intense gaze to the bottom of her nearly empty glass.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I can imagine, from everything you've told me about yourself," She said. "That getting rid of that curse would be on the top of your list."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia remained slient, still staring at the glass.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I can also imagine," she continued. "That you have tried everything you could before getting to the point of attempting a game with a demon prince."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Spot on."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"It must have been an incredibly powerful being that placed this curse," Perrell said, standing up to start pacing back and forth across the cockpit. The mage stopped pacing for a moment and walked back to her. "The magic... it's like tiny chains wrapped all around you."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That sounds about right," she said curtly, finishing off her glass.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I... may be able to help you," Perrell said, examining Thalia as though she could see into her body. "It will take a bit of work, but I think I can reverse the effects." Thalia perked up at her statement.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">She peered at the mage suspiciously. "Why would you do that for me? You barely know me."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Perrell took a deep breath and exhaled a sigh. "Well, of course, I will want something in return but it is well within your grasp," She said simply. "I will want to pick your brain for everything you know about magitech, astral space, and the empire. Clearly, you are a wellspring of knowledge that can help Aerois out of the backwoods into the modern era."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia pondered the offer. It was clear that the woman had some unknown motive, but she also seemed to have at least some trust from Prince Arydan. Also, she may never have a chance like this again in her life. She had to try.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"I've had many people try to cure me of this... condition," Thalia said, the words almost choking her. "And none have succeeded. However, I wouldn't mind having you make an attempt."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Azaria Perrell's face lit up.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Marvelous!" She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "I will begin working on that first thing tomorrow. It may take a few days or even weeks, but I assure you," She paused to stare into her eyes seriously. "I will remove this curse."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia knew better than to get her hopes up but she couldn't help but feel a deep sense of authenticity from Azaria's statement. At the very least, she believed she in her words.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Alright, I'll see what you got," She said coolly, though inside she had a growing sense of cautious excitement.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Wonderful," Perrell clapped her gently on the shoulder. "Well, it is getting quite late, I best be heading off."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Azaria rubbed the spot on her shoulder where she touched her and turned to walk away. Thalia grabbed her hand, remembering the last thing she wanted to ask.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Actually, before you go," Thalia managed to stop the mage in her tracks and made her half spin toward her. Azaria made a small noise of surprise. "I was looking for a... gift... for a friend," she said awkwardly. "I was thinking a book, perhaps something about astral space or the history of other worlds? I don't know really. I know she likes books."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Perrell gave her a look that she couldn't quite decipher and sighed quietly.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Yes," she said, her tone maintaining its same grace despite her expression. "I could help with that. In fact," She paused briefly to rummage through the pockets of her cloak and pulled out a small, oddly pristine looking book.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"This is a very special book," She said, opening the cover and flipping through the text. "A magic one that I enchanted myself. This book contains the text over 100 different books. The titles are all listed in the first few pages. All the reader has to do is say 'Volo Legere' and the name of the book from the list and the text will change into that book instantly. Watch."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">She showed her the title page, which currently read 'A History of the gods of Aerois' and said the magic words. The book began to shift and quake in her hands becoming much larger but still oddly new looking. When Azaria showed Thalia the title page, it changed to 'Hidden secrets of the Multiverse' by a different author.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"That... is impressive," Thalia said. "She would go nuts over this, I'm sure. Thank you."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Perrell's face flashed the briefest hint of annoyance but soon, her smile reappeared as she handed Thalia the book.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"My gift to you as a token of goodwill," she said, "Well, I'll head off. I'll be in touch for our next meeting." She began gliding away, her black cloak swishing and simmering with a purple hue.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Till we meet again," Thalia said, nodding towards her.Azaria stopped and turned back when she reached to door to the lounge.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">"Nova will definitely love it," She said matter of factly and continued out the door.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">-------------------</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">That night, Thalia had a restless sleep full of dreams.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">The first scene was in a forest, where the trees began to close in on her, cursing her and shouting her every fault and inadequacy. She screamed and cried but they wouldn't stop.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">The dream shifted to the Twinstar, flying through a powerful storm with strong winds. The ship rocked and shook violently as the storm raged. Debris flew into her path as she tried to remain calm but the ship was on course to crash right into it. Until, suddenly, a bright bluish cloud engulfed the ship, protecting it. The cloud shielded the Twinstar against the rain and raging winds as well until it gently deposited it on the ground safely.</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">The last scene was a familiar one. She saw Nova as she did at the bar where they first met. But this time, instead of blushing and flirting, Nova looked right passed her, as though she was invisible. Thalia tried to talk to her but her voice cracked, and no words would come. When Nova finally did see at Thalia, all she saw in her eyes was disgust and fear. The only words Thalia heard her speak were "Don't look at me! You'll turn me to stone."</p><p class="s7"> </p><p class="s7">Thalia woke up suddenly in a cold sweat, the dim light of the captain's quarters covering the room. Her heart was racing like she had just finished running, but she was safe in her bed. The memory of her dreams became hazy and began to fade, but the feelings were fresh. She eventually back asleep as the fear and shame imprinted itself in depths of her subconscious.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Thalia goes into town, buys some things, and buries her sadness.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="s7">A warm, prickly sensation came across Thalia's face as she stirred awake. She put her hands up to attempt to block it, but Big Cat's wide tongue still managed to scrape across her cheek.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Ugh, Big Cat," She said, pushing his large fluffy white head away from her face. "Alright, alright I'm getting up."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes, her snakes hissing lightly. The captain's quarters were surprisingly neat despite the long evening she had the previous day. Usually after a night of drinking, her room would be littered with bottles and possible vomit. But all was in order. The chest under her bed was pulled out half way, and there laid the book she that was meant for Nova.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Roaw," Big Cat said, nudging the book with a large paw, as if inquiring about what it was.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"It's a special book. For Nova," Thalia said, picking it up to exam the cover. "You know she how much she loves books. She'll definitely nerd out over this."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Big Cat's eyes gleamed with an air of intelligence and stared right into her soul.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"What?" Thalia said indignantly, standing up and wiping off her trousers. "It's a gift for a friend."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Big Cat looked at Thalia and turned to walk out the door, but she could swear she saw him roll his eyes.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia walked out the door behind Big Cat and noticed that the sun ship had barely begun to rise. Yesterday was one big blur that she was glad was behind her. Her ship had been attacked, she was shot, got drunk, she made a fool of herself, and got drunk again. Actually, in many ways, it wasn't that far out of line from an ordinary day.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">However, the sound of the heavy metal chain crashing into the crystalline side of the Twinstar and, the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach, were far from ordinary; it was something she would never forget.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Fuck</span><span class="s6">!!!</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Thalia shouted as the</span> <span class="s6">Twinstar</span> <span class="s6">jerked violently to the right, a loud scrapping sound echoing through the cabin. She deftly adjusted the orbs next on her arm rests to get the ship back on course.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Kyrie</span><span class="s6">, dear, what the</span> <span class="s6">FUCK</span> <span class="s6">was that?</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Thalia shouted into the intercom, desperately trying the keep the ship upright.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Um, I don't know, there</span> <span class="s6">-</span> <span class="s6">there are ships behind,</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Kyrie</span><span class="s6">said frantically.</span> <span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">They</span> <span class="s6">-</span> <span class="s6">they have a chain, it's hooked onto us, oh oh-</span><span class="s6">"</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7"><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Fuck</span><span class="s6">,</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6"><em>Thalia said, slamming her hand onto the control panel.</em></span><em> <span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Okay</span> <span class="s6">Kyrie</span><span class="s6">, it's alright. You shoot the living</span> <span class="s6">shit</span> <span class="s6">out of them. I'll try to lose them.</span><span class="s6">"</span></em></p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">O-okay Captain,</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Kyrie</span> <span class="s6">said, her voice shaky with fear.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">Thalia grasped the crystal orb controls of the</span> <span class="s6">Twinstar</span> <span class="s6">and engaged them at full force. She felt the familiar power of the ship begin to grow and urged the ship forward.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Ca-captain, Captain!</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Kyrie</span> <span class="s6">exclaimed, her voice screeching over the intercom.</span> <span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">They're climbing the chain</span> <span class="s6">-</span><span class="s6">they're trying to get on the ship!</span><span class="s6">"</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Captain?" Kyrie's voice was soft but strong enough to cut through the flashback of yesterday and bring Thalia back to the present.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Good morning," Thalia said, her mind still swimming with lingering thoughts from the day before. She placed the book down on the table and started looking through their food rations.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Are you alright?" Kyrie said, wearing a black Sanchara t-shirt, wings folded around herself, looking at the ground.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yes, of course," Thalia said, waving a hand at Kyrie. "Don't you worry about me. How are you doing? I know that was...a lot yesterday."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Um," Kyrie said, looking uncomfortable, eyes firmly on the floor. "Yeah, it was so scary.... I thought we were done for."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yes," Thalia said with a sigh. "It was quite bleak for a moment, wasn't it?"</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"It was," Kyrie said, looking up at her briefly before staring at the wall next to her. "Good thing our friends were there."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yes, they really... came to the rescue," Thalia said, mind wandering back to the events of yesterday.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">Thalia could feel the warm, wetness spreading</span> <span class="s6">across</span> <span class="s6">her back as the blood started to pour from her wound. Her vision was a tunnel locked into what was in front of her, her hands moving almost independently of conscious thought. She could feel herself losing strength but her will pushed her forward to keep fighting.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">A crash came from behind her in the lounge area; another pirate made their way onto the ship. The figure charged towards the cockpit and fired a shot. Thalia ducked just in time as the shot</span> <span class="s6">ricocheted</span> <span class="s6">off the front glass. She grabbed an arcane pistol from her holster and pulled the trigger. The bullet clearly hit its mark as the elf gasped in</span> <span class="s6">pain.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Fucking</span> <span class="s6">asshole</span> <span class="s6">-</span> <span class="s6">get out of here!</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Thalia said, taking another shot. This time the shot connected dead center of the elf's</span> <span class="s6">forehead, and</span> <span class="s6">he fell backwards into the lounge.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">Thalia's body was numb as she continued to maneuver the</span><span class="s6">Twinstar</span> <span class="s6">to</span> <span class="s6">try to</span> <span class="s6">shake the pirate ships off. Everything moved in slow motion; her hands moving faster than she could think. All she knew is that she had to lose them.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <span class="s6">
    <em>Suddenly, she heard another commotion in the lounge; it sounded like multiple boarders this time.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Fucking</span> <span class="s6">shit</span><span class="s6">,</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Thalia said angrily, loading her arcane pistol once more.</span> <span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Get the</span> <span class="s6">fuck</span> <span class="s6">out of here!</span><span class="s6">"</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span><span class="s6">Hey Thalia,</span><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Called out a familiar voice, followed by a loud thud. I know that voice... but who? She thought.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <span class="s6">
    <em>The next voice she heard was unmistakable.</em>
  </span>
</p>
<p class="s7">
  
</p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">"</span> <span class="s6">Thalia! Thalia! We're here, what can we do?!?</span> <span class="s6">"</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">
  <em><span class="s6">It was Nova. She came to save her; sweet, panicked yet extremely brave Nova came</span> <span class="s6">-</span> <span class="s6">just in time.</span> <span class="s6">As</span> <span class="s6">she somehow always managed to do.</span></em>
</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"... so maybe you should get off the ship for a bit?" Kyriesaid, although Thalia didn't quite hear the first part.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"It would be nice to get off the ship," Thalia said, returning to the present. "I actually asked our friends if they wanted to meet up yesterday, but they never came back so... they must have been busy." Thalia felt a pang of sadness that she promptly ignored.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"No matter!" Thalia said decidedly, clapping her hands together. "We'll meet with them soon I'm sure. In the meantime, I'd love to explore this city and see what the deal is. Would you like to come?"</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Um," Kyrie said hesitantly, wringing her claws. "Um, maybe, I don't know."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"You don't have to, if you don't want to," Thalia said, getting up and adjusting herself. Kyrie looked visibly relieved.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Can you fetch me my hat?" Thalia said, gathering a satchel, ammo, and some coin as she headed out the door. "I'd like to limit any unpleasant encounters."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">------------</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia left the Twinstar so early that the guards along with Azaria Perrell and her minions hadn't made it yet, so she was able to walk out unnoticed.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">That anonymity didn't last long because as soon as she started walking down a populated street, the stares started.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">It had been over 200 years since she was cursed, but she still wasn't fully used to the way people reacted to her. The hat helped but ultimately someone would see a snake wriggle around or hiss. Some people gasped in shock at the sight of her; others simply ran away. The only thing that she could count on for sure was that they would not look at her.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">She couldn't blame them. A Medusa is not something one sees on a regular basis and the fact is that all the myths said that with one glance, you will be turned to stone. Little did they know, Thalia hated using that power, and she vowed to never use it unless her or others lives were in danger.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia walked at a brisk pace, head held high. She refused to cower and hide who she was. She learned early on that you never let them see you weak.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">As Thalia progressed into the city, she noticed that Gusthaven was bustling with life even this early in the morning. The central marketplace was much different from she was used to but ultimately the same. People moved with a purpose through paved streets, and merchants shouted from their carts, trying to attract attention of potential customers. The crowd was mostly composed of High Elves with sprinkles of Genasi, Humans, and other races. The sun ship shined over the city backed by a crystal blue sky. Thalia noticed that the temperature here was always ridiculously perfect, and she loved it.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Eyeing different merchants as she passed, she searched for one that sold booze. Azaria Perrell's bottle of whiskey was nice, but she would finish that off before midday. She found an elegant shop with a sign that said 'Rovian's Wine &amp; Spirits' that was run by a tall blond elf named Ollen. The elf was wary of her presence but still sold her several bottles of alcohol, which she appreciated.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia explored as much of the city as she could on foot. There were many interesting shops, including ones that sold weapons, jewelry, and even one that sold only flowers, which seemed to Thalia like a waste of time. Some people really like flowers, I suppose, she thought, and may need a lot of them at a time. Like Mother.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Suddenly, an image of her mother appeared in her mind. Her chestnut brown hair cascading down her back, her sky blue eyes filled with joy as she picked flowers from the royal garden. She would often go out there, picking weeds and tilling the ground herself rather than have a servant do it. Sometimes, if you love something, you have to go out and get your hands dirty, she used to say. Caught off guard, a wave of despair hit her deep to her core as the memory faded. She forced herself not to think about her old life too much; it usually led to nothing good. Looks like I'll need that drink sooner than I thought, she thought breathing in and out slowly, stuffing her sadness deep down.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">As she continued on her journey through the town, soon she smelled an intoxicating scent; it was a mix of fresh bread, spice, and an earthy smell she had never encountered before. She followed her nose until she reached a small shop with white two-person tables out in front. It appeared to be a restaurant of a sort but the patrons outside weren't eating for the most part. Most people carried on with conversations, laughing and talking loudly, sipping from small cups. Outside stood a halfling man in fine robes of maroon and gold, white wisps of hair framing his face and head, except for a distinct bald patch on top of his head. His eyes lit up upon seeing her approach as if she was an old friend he hadn't seen for some time.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Welcome to the Golden Crown cafe!" He said jovially, moving towards her with a slight jingle of bracelets and chains, arms wide. "Please, have a seat anywhere you wish. The menu is on the table and your server will be by to take your order post haste!"</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">He smiled and bowed deeply, waddling away back to his post. Thalia scanned the outdoor space for a place to sit. She found the perfect spot in the back corner under the shade of a large tree; it was away from everyone and provided eye line to all exits.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia picked up a menu, which was one page and made of a thick, hearty paper and kicked up her feet onto the seat across from her. They had a variety of pastries, sandwiches, and other fare but the longest section of the menus was under 'Tea &amp; Coffee.' Thalia heard of these beverages before but never had a chance to try them.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Were you ready to order?" Said a soft, feminine voice. It belonged to a half elf woman, with long dark curly hair and very brown, almond shaped eyes, stood in front of her with a small pad. Thalia was startled but managed not to show a physical reaction.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Goodness, I didn't notice you there," Thalia said, sitting up in her seat, putting her feet back on the ground.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Didn't mean to scare you," she said with a smile, pushing a curl behind her ear. "My name is Celestia and I'll be your server for today."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Well, this is setting up to be a lovely day," Thalia said with a wink and Celestia blushed. I still got it, she thought, smiling to herself.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"I'm not familiar with the beverages on this list," Thalia said, calling her closer with the menu. "Perhaps, you could... recommend something?"</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yeah, for sure, I can do that," She said, moving next to her, so close she could smell the sweet flowers and citrus of her perfume. She scanned the menu quickly and let out a small 'aha' sound.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"I know what would be perfect for you," she said, lightly brushing past Thalia's shoulder with her hand. "An espresso. Simple yet very strong."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Well, you've got the strong part down," Thalia said, leaning back in her chair. Definitely not simple, said an invasive thought. A terribly complex mess, in fact, the voice persisted. Thalia pushed the thought aside and focused."Thank you dear. I'll take it."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia gave the server a cheeky grin, which she returned as she walked back into the shop.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia reached into her satchel and pulled out her sketch pad and quill. Doodles of alien creatures and scenes of astral space filled the first few dozen pages. Thalia loved to draw ever since she was a little girl but recently, she had a lot less time than usual to practice her craft. The only craft she could practice nowadays was piloting because it kept her and her crew alive. But now was a perfect time to relax and rediscover her love of art.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia glanced around to see what could be the subject of this drawing. Three tables over to her right was a rather mean looking goblin holding a newspaper unreasonably close to his face. Next to him was an older, regal looking high elf woman sitting with an orc in full plate armor. That's interesting, but no, she thought dismissively. In front of her about two tables away were two young women, one appeared to be human and the other a water Genasi. They leaned in closely together, giggling and speaking in hushed tones. "Lovebirds," she said to herself, in a tone that came out much less snide than she intended.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">She settled on sketching a leaf from the tree above, when she had a nagging thought in the back of her head. Write a letter to Nova. Tell her how you feel... about upsetting her, she thought. And maybe how you really feel, said another part of her. She rubbed her forehead in frustration.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">How I reeeeaaaally feel, she repeated to herself internally, quill hovering over a blank piece of paper. She felt... sad that she made Nova uncomfortable, grateful to have her in her life... as a friend, and some unknown feeling that constantly crept up in her mind. Maybe I'll let the quill guide me, she thought, her hand still hovering over the paper.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Alright, I can do this," she said to herself, slowly putting quill to paper.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Dear Nova,</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">No, that doesn't sound right.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Dearest Nova,</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Oh, that's worse.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Nova,</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">That sounds rather impersonal, doesn't it?</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia went through half a dozen greetings before taking a break due to her being on the brink of giving up entirely. Why is this so hard? She lamented in her mind, rubbing her temple. She would rather face a thousand Valkerian ships than have to write down her feelings on a piece of paper.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Here you are," Her server Celestia said, creeping up silently yet again, this time armed with a small white mug.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"It's very hot, so drink it slowly," she said sweetly as she placed the tiny cup in front of her. The server noticed her notebook as she placed a small spoon next to the cup.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Oh, what's this?" she said. "If you don't mind me asking." She followed up with quickly.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia paused for a moment. "This is my... sketchbook. I draw random, silly things in it when I'm bored," She said, trying to make the book sound as mundane as possible.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Oh that's really cool!" Celestia said enthusiastically, head tilting to the side. "What are you drawing now?"</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Eh, nothing actually," Thalia said, bringing the book closer to her. "I'm just trying to write something. A letter actually."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Oh, okay," The server said, as if disappointed by the answer.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yes, I'm having a rather difficult time with it. I haven't even made it to the first sentence!" Thalia said laughing a bit too loud.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Oh is it for a relative, or...?" she said expectantly, arms folded in front of her.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"No..." Thalia said, tilting her head in thought, trying to figure out the words to describe the situation. "It's for a... friend... who I... need to... tell a few things to? I don't know."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">The half elf nodded slowly, mouth opening as if she was going to speak but instead closed it tightly.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Mmmhmmm," she murmured, as the distance between them seemed to widen despite neither of them moving."Well, I'm sure the words will come. Try the drink, it should give you a boost," She said as she gave Thalia a half smirk and walked away.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia took a sip of the espresso, blowing at the edge of the cup to cool it down. The hot, dark liquid went smoothly down her throat and landed nicely in her stomach. Within seconds, Thalia felt a surge of energy pulse through her body, her brain feeling as though it shifted into a higher gear. She took another, deeper sip.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">As the energy coursed through her, she felt her hands come alive as she grabbed the quill once more. This time the words flowed freely like a river moving downstream.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">When Thalia finished the letter, she also finished the espresso and paid for her service, leaving a generous tip for the half elf. She ordered a to go meal for both Big Cat andKyrie, knowing that it had been a while since they had non rationed food. Thalia had been gone a few hours at this point, and she was ready to return to her ship. Her home.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">As she approached the Twinstar, there was a royal guard waiting outside but thankfully, no one else had made it yet. She gave the guard a wave as she made a beeline for the ship's doors.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">The black crystalline interior greeted her along with Big Cat's large fluffy form, jumping onto her shoulders nearly toppling her over.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"I wasn't even gone that long, goodness," she said, a smile forming on her face despite herself.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Kyrie?" Thalia called out under the ladder which led to Kyrie's turret.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Yes, Captain?" Kyrie said back, with a squawk.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Everything alright? Any visitors... or messages?" Thalia said before she could think about the reason why.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Um, no." Kyrie said loudly, confused.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Ah, alright then," Thalia said, her chest tightening. "Well, I'll be in the cockpit if you need me. Oh, I got you some real food, it's down here on the table." She said, leaving the meals in the mess hall.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">Thalia went into the cockpit with slow deliberation and sat in the captain's chair, her chair. She stared at the console that was covered in mementos from her travels. A small black and blue gemstone from Arcadia. A Sanshara figurine from Elysium. Bym's glasses. Thalia exhaled in frustration and threw her hat against the wall.</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"Of course they didn't come to see you," She said out loud, pulling out a new bottle from her bag and opening it quickly."She doesn't want to see you. No one wants to see you."</p>
<p class="s7"> </p>
<p class="s7">"You're a stupid, hideous fucking disaster," she said, taking a deep swig from the bottle as tears formed in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
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